I started a journal, like, a real one. It's alright. I don't really know how to write in it, so it feels really awkward. It's like, who am I talking to? What's my audience? Is it just my 'future self'? Or my future wife, or my eventual posterity? I would write different things to each of those people. To myself I would probably put more personal things, things I've figured out, little details that it might be fun to remember. If my wife will read it, then I probably shouldn't put in a ton of details about my current besottment, because if it's not the same person she probably won't appreciate it. If my future kids will read it, then I don't really want to put in stuff about depression or struggles or like, bad stuff, because, you know, they're my kids. Daddy will be perfect in their eyes, can't be shattering that illusion.
Speaking of kids, I really want them. I'm so pumped to have babies. Tons of them. We had a joke in our apartment last semester that, one of the things you have to talk to someone you're in a serious relationship with is "the P word". So it was like, "Mike, have you talked to her about the P word yet?" P is posterity. But basically no one who's not Mormon would ever use that word, so it's funny. Somehow. I don't know.
If you want some updates on my commitments, you may be disappointed. I talked about how I was going to learn Arabic, learn to write with my left hand, get good grades, and all of that. I know no Arabic, I didn't write with my left hand even once, and I'm probably going to flunk out of school this semester. That's maybe an exaggeration, I will probably only fail half my classes. I actually want to get a 1.75 (cross your fingers) because then if someone asks what kind of grades I got my first year at college I can say "4.0... If you add both semesters together!" And we will laugh and laugh and it will be a grand old time. And hopefully they will forget that that means I got terrible grades.
Speaking of being funny, it's really early/late. I made a cake last night, cherry chip. It smelled like my birthday. I had like 3 cherry chip cakes for my 18th birthday, because I told people how much I loved them and so like 3 different people made them. My parents were out of town for my birthday, so Loni spent the night and we ate Dino Nuggets and cake and sweet Maui onion chips and watched Avatar: The Last Airbender all night. We never got to finish the 3rd season before I left, sad. It's a good show. That Sokka is really funny.
As I continue to vomit words onto this keyboard, I've realized something. This aggression will not stand. Does that make any sense to you? Probably not, because it's nonsense. I don't know why anyone would ever say it.
Yeah. I'm gonna go now. I'll probably delete this when I read it as a coherent human later. Yeah.
March 21, 2011
March 14, 2011
Shapes
I spent way too much money in Portland this weekend. Like, 900 bucks. Crap. But it was a good time nonetheless.
My sophomore year in Geo/Trig, me and Karlie Ellingson were like, "Man, it would be so cool to be ambidextrous. Maybe we should make ourselves learn to write with our other hand." (I was right, she was left). We did it for about 30 minutes.
However, today I decided that I'm going to take a risk. I'm going to ambidextrize myself. For the next month, I will not write with my write hand. At all, unless I forget. You might say, "But what about your signature? Surely such a fine, handcrafted (ha!) piece of art as that can't be imitated with your left hand." Fear not, my signature is a quarter inch scribble, followed by a giant squiggly line. Unless I'm signing it electronically, then it's just like one line randomly somewhere on the pad.
But anyways, with any luck, I will soon be ambidextrous, which will be awesome. Maybe I'll wear an eyepatch on my good eye, too, so that my entire body will be symmetrical.
Probably not.
My sophomore year in Geo/Trig, me and Karlie Ellingson were like, "Man, it would be so cool to be ambidextrous. Maybe we should make ourselves learn to write with our other hand." (I was right, she was left). We did it for about 30 minutes.
However, today I decided that I'm going to take a risk. I'm going to ambidextrize myself. For the next month, I will not write with my write hand. At all, unless I forget. You might say, "But what about your signature? Surely such a fine, handcrafted (ha!) piece of art as that can't be imitated with your left hand." Fear not, my signature is a quarter inch scribble, followed by a giant squiggly line. Unless I'm signing it electronically, then it's just like one line randomly somewhere on the pad.
But anyways, with any luck, I will soon be ambidextrous, which will be awesome. Maybe I'll wear an eyepatch on my good eye, too, so that my entire body will be symmetrical.
Probably not.
March 13, 2011
This one's for you, Charlie
I'm one of those people that doesn't win things, or at least, that's what I'll tell you. Whenever there's a contest or raffle or something there's always a group of people who can be heard saying "I've never won anything, ever. It's really my turn to win something." That group of people includes, generally, every single person who entered the contest. If you listened to all of them you might begin to believe that all contests, from the 1st grade spelling bee to the state lottery, were in fact rigged so that there will never be a winner. Most people who claim to belong to this state of perpetual loss are, in fact, in a state of perpetual forgetfulness. I think most of us have actually won things many times in our life, they were just insignificant enough, or occurred long enough ago, that we don't remember them.
With that in mind, I've decided to go through my life and think of all the times I've ever won anything. Let us begin.
In middle school I won a handheld karaoke machine. It was for a bingo game, held in the cafeteria, for people who had like sold a certain amount of magazines and turned in their paper about it or something. Of course, I didn't sell anything, I just stole Trevor Evans' paper and erased his name and put my own in (who uses pencil on those things? Get with the program.) I suppose that was a win in and of itself, since I got to miss class for no reason at all. For those of you who are worried about Trevor, don't. I distinctly remember seeing him at the Bingo thing and being like "Did you really go out and sell more magazines? Get a life." In the end, though, I won a handheld karaoke thing. It was purple. Erika Devereaux approached me afterwards and asked me for it, since I would never use it. I was a jerk, so I said no, and it sat in my house for a couple of years before I threw it away.
I've won some stuff from my dad throughout the years. He likes to offer exorbitant sums for trivia questions that he's sure I won't know the answer to. I once won a dollar for spelling elephant correctly (I know that isn't an exorbitant sum). On our sailboat cruise in Mexico, he offered me 50 dollars if I could tell him who "took the purse". I said "Judas Escariot", and I think my mom wanted to swear at him. But, of course, she didn't.
As a side-note, I can only remember my mom swearing like 3 times in my life. Once was at my dad when I was a kid. It was about me and my brother. I think my dad had been a jerk to us and her mama-bear hackles rose up and she threw the D-bomb right in his face. BAM! Another time, it was totally random, we were going to the airport in Fairbanks, and I was being a whiny little twerp, and like was complaining about carrying the suitcase into the airport, and she was like "Well I'll carry the damn thing myself." I remember I was just like, confused. I didn't really know why she would choose that particular moment of all moments to unleash her inner demons. I think there was another time, but it's not coming to me right now.
Speaking of "I think there was another time, but it's not coming to me right now," I think there was another time when I won something, but it's not coming to me right now. Dang.
With that in mind, I've decided to go through my life and think of all the times I've ever won anything. Let us begin.
In middle school I won a handheld karaoke machine. It was for a bingo game, held in the cafeteria, for people who had like sold a certain amount of magazines and turned in their paper about it or something. Of course, I didn't sell anything, I just stole Trevor Evans' paper and erased his name and put my own in (who uses pencil on those things? Get with the program.) I suppose that was a win in and of itself, since I got to miss class for no reason at all. For those of you who are worried about Trevor, don't. I distinctly remember seeing him at the Bingo thing and being like "Did you really go out and sell more magazines? Get a life." In the end, though, I won a handheld karaoke thing. It was purple. Erika Devereaux approached me afterwards and asked me for it, since I would never use it. I was a jerk, so I said no, and it sat in my house for a couple of years before I threw it away.
I've won some stuff from my dad throughout the years. He likes to offer exorbitant sums for trivia questions that he's sure I won't know the answer to. I once won a dollar for spelling elephant correctly (I know that isn't an exorbitant sum). On our sailboat cruise in Mexico, he offered me 50 dollars if I could tell him who "took the purse". I said "Judas Escariot", and I think my mom wanted to swear at him. But, of course, she didn't.
As a side-note, I can only remember my mom swearing like 3 times in my life. Once was at my dad when I was a kid. It was about me and my brother. I think my dad had been a jerk to us and her mama-bear hackles rose up and she threw the D-bomb right in his face. BAM! Another time, it was totally random, we were going to the airport in Fairbanks, and I was being a whiny little twerp, and like was complaining about carrying the suitcase into the airport, and she was like "Well I'll carry the damn thing myself." I remember I was just like, confused. I didn't really know why she would choose that particular moment of all moments to unleash her inner demons. I think there was another time, but it's not coming to me right now.
Speaking of "I think there was another time, but it's not coming to me right now," I think there was another time when I won something, but it's not coming to me right now. Dang.
January 15, 2011
*Spoiler Alert* We live happily ever after
Today was not a great day for me by most people's standards. I left the house once, to go to a job interview for a job I didn't want and to withdraw 55 of my last 90 dollars for the month to buy a textbook. The only people I spoke to were a couple of my roommates, for probably 5 minutes tops, and like 3 texts to a girl I don't really like.
Needless to say, when 6:00 rolled around, I looked a little like this:
No, not snuggly. Sad.
(On an unrelated note, while I was searching for that picture I came across this.)
So, I thought, you know what every sad panda deserves? Something unhealthy, to make him feel sad tomorrow as well. So, I set off for Taco Bell.
Halfway there I though, "No, Ed. Be strong. Taco Bell will not bring you joy and friendship. It will only bring you sadness and food poisoning.
So I resolved to just walk, and see where the wind blew me.
And, 15 minutes later, I reached the outskirts of Rexburg. I forgot that this town will do anything in its power to crush spontaneity.
Thoroughly disillusioned with the world, I started to trudge home. (Ten minutes later- there are no good 'trudge' pictures out there).
Long story short- I went to Subway. And that, my friends, has made all the difference.
Afterwards, I looked like this:
No. I did not bite into my delicious 6 inch turkey on wheat and find a golden ticket, (thank goodness).
Instead, I saw her.
Yes, confession time. I have a crush on a Subway girl. It's an expensive habit, but well worth the effort.
You see, I don't know her schedule (we haven't reached that point in our relationship yet). So, I'm forced to go to Subway pretty much every day, whether she's working or not. This leads to a lot of disappointment (and $4.24 charges on my credit card).
But, tonight she was. So all is well in the world.
You might say to yourself "*something rude*" but you would be wrong. One day, just by chance, I'll be standing behind her in a line somewhere, and I'll say "*words of exceeding cleverness*" and she'll turn around and smile and WE'LL BE MARRIED ON TOP OF A MOUNTAIN.
You're all invited.
Needless to say, when 6:00 rolled around, I looked a little like this:
No, not snuggly. Sad.
(On an unrelated note, while I was searching for that picture I came across this.)
So, I thought, you know what every sad panda deserves? Something unhealthy, to make him feel sad tomorrow as well. So, I set off for Taco Bell.
Halfway there I though, "No, Ed. Be strong. Taco Bell will not bring you joy and friendship. It will only bring you sadness and food poisoning.
So I resolved to just walk, and see where the wind blew me.
And, 15 minutes later, I reached the outskirts of Rexburg. I forgot that this town will do anything in its power to crush spontaneity.
Thoroughly disillusioned with the world, I started to trudge home. (Ten minutes later- there are no good 'trudge' pictures out there).
Long story short- I went to Subway. And that, my friends, has made all the difference.
Afterwards, I looked like this:
No. I did not bite into my delicious 6 inch turkey on wheat and find a golden ticket, (thank goodness).
Instead, I saw her.
Yes, confession time. I have a crush on a Subway girl. It's an expensive habit, but well worth the effort.
You see, I don't know her schedule (we haven't reached that point in our relationship yet). So, I'm forced to go to Subway pretty much every day, whether she's working or not. This leads to a lot of disappointment (and $4.24 charges on my credit card).
But, tonight she was. So all is well in the world.
You might say to yourself "*something rude*" but you would be wrong. One day, just by chance, I'll be standing behind her in a line somewhere, and I'll say "*words of exceeding cleverness*" and she'll turn around and smile and WE'LL BE MARRIED ON TOP OF A MOUNTAIN.
You're all invited.
January 13, 2011
Things I've decided
To learn Arabic. Or at least attempt to gain some basic understanding of it. There's a thing called "wikiversity" which is like a wikipedia university thing. They have lots of lessons on stuff. It's cool.
That Clive Staples Lewis is a genius. Seriously. Best book on religion I've ever read. He's funny, logical, passionate, and just plain brilliant. He was also an atheist for like 30 or 40 years, so his description and reasoning behind finally converting is really interesting. Again, it was the logic that got him.
Believe it or not since I stopped taking math at the end of my junior year I have not gained any sort of proficience in it. Apparently cheating your way to a D+ for 3 years doesn't qualify you for college math.
Not only did I not learn math in high school, I also didn't learn study skills or critical reading skills. I read a page in a textbook and then I realize that I don't know anything I just read. It's frustrating. Also, textbooks are incredibly boring. They make me want to die.
Finally, Moleskine notebooks really are great. I actually refuse to write in anything else that I plan on keeping permanently. It just feels good to write in them.
That wasn't a very good 'finally'.
Finally- ink is far too expensive. Everything is far too expensive, actually, when you're poor. So that sucks.
Also- click on the link and watch the video full screen. Trust me.
ANGELS & AIRWAVES "LOVE" MOVIE TRAILER #3 from Angels and Airwaves on Vimeo.
That Clive Staples Lewis is a genius. Seriously. Best book on religion I've ever read. He's funny, logical, passionate, and just plain brilliant. He was also an atheist for like 30 or 40 years, so his description and reasoning behind finally converting is really interesting. Again, it was the logic that got him.
Believe it or not since I stopped taking math at the end of my junior year I have not gained any sort of proficience in it. Apparently cheating your way to a D+ for 3 years doesn't qualify you for college math.
Not only did I not learn math in high school, I also didn't learn study skills or critical reading skills. I read a page in a textbook and then I realize that I don't know anything I just read. It's frustrating. Also, textbooks are incredibly boring. They make me want to die.
Finally, Moleskine notebooks really are great. I actually refuse to write in anything else that I plan on keeping permanently. It just feels good to write in them.
That wasn't a very good 'finally'.
Finally- ink is far too expensive. Everything is far too expensive, actually, when you're poor. So that sucks.
Also- click on the link and watch the video full screen. Trust me.
ANGELS & AIRWAVES "LOVE" MOVIE TRAILER #3 from Angels and Airwaves on Vimeo.
January 10, 2011
I don't need no other lover
It was a very strange morning. My alarm woke me up and I rolled out of bed and went into the living room. As I walked out of my room I had words flowing in my mind.Within 30 seconds of being awake I had started to write a poem. Within 5 minutes I had written 3.
Inspiration, you might say. Perhaps a vision.
I'm afraid not.
But I'll share the second one with you.
It is
Perhaps,
The most essential fact of human nutrition
To know that you may grow old on bran flakes and olives,
And suffer a young, cruel death
by Captain Crunch
Oh what the heck, I'll throw you the 3rd.
There is something
comforting,
even mystic.
Some ancient Kabbalah rite that
surely
must go into the making of a Flintstone vitamin.
In other news... Well. There's not really any other news. I've started school. It's going reasonably well. If anything of note occurs you'll be the first to know.
I promise.
Inspiration, you might say. Perhaps a vision.
I'm afraid not.
But I'll share the second one with you.
It is
Perhaps,
The most essential fact of human nutrition
To know that you may grow old on bran flakes and olives,
And suffer a young, cruel death
by Captain Crunch
Oh what the heck, I'll throw you the 3rd.
There is something
comforting,
even mystic.
Some ancient Kabbalah rite that
surely
must go into the making of a Flintstone vitamin.
In other news... Well. There's not really any other news. I've started school. It's going reasonably well. If anything of note occurs you'll be the first to know.
I promise.
January 9, 2011
Thoughts on death
You might have heard about the shootings in Arizona. Some angry constituent tried to shoot his congresswoman, and ended up killing 6 and injuring 12 others.
One of the people he killed was a 9 year old girl. She was born on September 11, 2001.
This is her:
I like to think that I have some pretty liberal views for a lot of criminals. I believe in people's ability to change and reform, and I think that the justice system should reflect and support that.
But I can't help feeling that this guy should be taken out in someone's backyard and shot. Really.
I read an interview with a man who worked on a firing squad for like 20 years. He was a religious guy, and they asked if he ever regretted it or felt bad or whatever. He said he had felt more remorse over squirrels he's killed. He said that sometimes you get defective merchandise, and your only choice is to return it to the manufacturer.
I would disagree with him in a lot of cases. But this guy, crazy as he may be, I feel like there's not much of a punishment we can give him here that would suit him better than what he'll get afterwards.
One of the people he killed was a 9 year old girl. She was born on September 11, 2001.
This is her:
I like to think that I have some pretty liberal views for a lot of criminals. I believe in people's ability to change and reform, and I think that the justice system should reflect and support that.
But I can't help feeling that this guy should be taken out in someone's backyard and shot. Really.
I read an interview with a man who worked on a firing squad for like 20 years. He was a religious guy, and they asked if he ever regretted it or felt bad or whatever. He said he had felt more remorse over squirrels he's killed. He said that sometimes you get defective merchandise, and your only choice is to return it to the manufacturer.
I would disagree with him in a lot of cases. But this guy, crazy as he may be, I feel like there's not much of a punishment we can give him here that would suit him better than what he'll get afterwards.
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