I beat a video game yesterday. This might not seem like much of an accomplishment, I think normal boys do it on a regular basis. But, for me, it's big. I've beaten two other games in my entire life. The reason for this is simple, I suck at video games. No coordination, a low threshold for frustration, and a debilitating case of the quits combine to make me, well, suck. I think I started two Zelda games that I actually did beat about 30 times. But, in a moment of boredom this week, I purchased a PS3 and some games, and now one of them is successfully under my belt. Go me.
Our family has always been a game-playing one. I'm a fan of some, (Risk, Monopoly, Set, Acquire, Bang, Settlers). Others are zero fun, (Risk, Racko[my mother's favorite], Bananagrams, Scrabble[everyone in the family teams up to try to destroy my dad, then he whines about it after he beats us by 200 points anyways]).
What's this, you say? Risk shows up on both lists? Yes. Risk is a very special game, that can't really be categorized. One the one hand, it's educational. You learn many things from Risk that you can't learn anywhere else. For instance:
Who knew that Kamchatka was not only an actual place, but a prime spot to launch an assault on North America?
Australia is actually not useless, despite all the real world evidence to the contrary.
Africa " "
Europe is useless, confirming all real world evidence we already knew.
Everyone you know is an asshole.
That last one is the first thing you realize when you play Risk. People you've known for years who, up to this point, have always seemed like reasonable, friendly people, are revealed to be backstabbing conspirators, seeking any opportunity to ruin your carefully laid plans and, by extension, your life. Risk can unravel years of nurture and devotion, destroy casual relationships outright, and breed animosity that will fester for decades.
But dang is it fun when you destroy everyone.
Also, fuck Kamchatka. We all know it's not a real place.
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